Why I Blog

I had read someone commenting about blogs, saying that she didn't like them and that people shouldn't share their innermost thoughts with the whole wide world because it makes people uncomfortable.

This really made me think. Why do I blog? Why do I share my very raw and real thoughts and feelings with people, a vast majority whom I do not know, and will not ever know. Why do I do it?

The answer is very simple. I am a human being, that's why.

As a human being, I have experienced trials. As a human being, I share these trials with other people in this world. While my trials are unique to me, there are many, many, many people in this world who have had very similar trials. As a human being, I find comfort in the knowledge I am not alone in this world. It comforts me to hear other people's stories, their thoughts and feelings, and to understand that my emotional reactions to my trials are not unusual, but perhaps they are not spoken out loud very often. There are experiences that are very taboo in this world that I have experienced, miscarriage, rape, divorce, sexual molestation, bulimia, suicidal thoughts, self harm. Dark, painful things that people silence, cover up, ignore. But, those who are brave enough to speak, to share in a public forum, people I can immediately relate too because I have had those same experiences, same emotions, same trials, are my heroes. As a human being, I feel that it is my responsibility while on this earth to help as many people as I possibly can, and if just sharing my story helps one person in the whole wide world find even a modicum of comfort and peace, than it is worth it for me to expose myself.

Is it cathartic? Yes. Would it be just as cathartic to write it down in a journal? Yes, but also no. Yes, because it would be an emotional release, No, because I know that it wouldn't be helping anybody else, and that is a big part of the healing process for me.

It was because I was brave and shared my story with my eating disorder that I was able to help raise money so that other young women could have the same life saving treatment that I did. It was because I shared something so raw and real and painful that a friend came out and confessed a similar experience, and it has brought us closer together. It was because I shared that fact that I was molested by my biological father as a child that I was able to talk to a fellow eating disorder survivor, to realize how many things we had in common because of that experience, and now she is a friend for a lifetime. It was because my mom shared the story of her molestation with me, that I was able to know that a beaten, battered, and emotionally scarred little girl could grow up to be the strongest, smartest, bravest woman I know. It was because I shared my thoughts and feelings on my miscarriage that women in my life, women I have known for years, women who are related to me, came out and shared their experiences with me.

God gave me the gift of words and the drive to leave my mark on this world. God let me be born in a time when modern technology allows me to share my stories far and wide with little effort. Finally, God gave me trials, painful, terrible trials. With those trials, he gave me the strength to power through, the comfort of amazing family and friends, the resources to find the help I needed, and the knowledge to look back on my trials and see the lessons I have learned.

This is why I blog.

If you have had any of these experiences and want to talk, I am extremely willing. Feel free to ask me questions. If you have ever been abused or neglected or had a loss, here is a listening ear, an understanding mind, and a shoulder to cry on. Call me, e-mail me, message me. I would love to talk.